new beggining???

it is always hard to let go...
but there is a moment when you realize that you can't continue.
i have given every inch of myself
my dreams, my laughs, my smile, my desires, my love, my patience, my help, my good humor....simply i have given everything.

I needed to know what happend.
why, with everything i did, the relationship was over?
why trying not to be a pain in the ass like every girl is it wasn't enough?
well.. it seems like yesterday was the day
the day when time spoke
the day i realize that , even it hurts deep inside, i have to move on and let go.

It is too hard for me, because i still love him
but i'm tired of fighting to win him back and not achieving anything.
i know that i will always remember him, may be i will always love him...
because i loved the way i was when i was with him.
i smiled, i laughed, i cry, i was love... i was happy.

i don't know if he will ever reconsider, or think twice about what he did.
i don't know if he realizes what he will loose
i don't know if he will ever realize that i love him soo much that i stick to his side for 6 more month after we broke up ... to be there for him and help him.

i am going to let go now...
i will try not to think that he will open his eyes and try to get me back...
that will be foolish and naive.

what i want now is to live my life as if nothing happen
live to be happy, and hoping to find someone who will apreciate me and what i have to give.
i want someone who will be crazy about me... love me ... and in addition to be more happy that we are alone, together.

i really will love him .... the rest of my life , because he gave me some much happiness.
and making this decission was very difficult for me, and it really hurts.
i feel part of my heart missing....
it's wierd, i can't stop crying when i have to talk about what we have... but i don't know why... the only thing i know is that it makes me sad to remember

i want to stop ...
i will return to my motto of leaving the moment and never looking back nor expecting what will happen