I'm another me... I can feel it coming to live as the old me is staying behind. The old me... The girl with issues because she had to work to pay for her university. The girl who was so madly in love, delusional even, that stayed in the corpse of a relationship. The girl who hated her Mom and later felt guilty 'cause she realized how much her Mom loves her. The girl who NEEDED to excel and be better than everyone else. The girl who compared herself with her sister so no matter how thin she was, it was never enough. The girl who missed the security of being a child and being taken care of. Then I realized, this last 5 years have been transition years. 5 years that started with lose, but it all was for me to change. From that girl to this woman. From being a kid to being a grown up. From wanting everything being taking care of for me, to taking care of me and my own life. From not being aware of anything and anyone, of being self center, to mindfullness and observant. 5 years that might seem wasted in dating and working, but in fact they helped me grow into the woman I am now and I'm going to be from now on. This new cycle started when I started to feel tired of being who I am. I was just so tired of me, of my competitiveness, of me compering myself with everyone... I started to notice this in my yoga practice, a practice I was doing almost everyday the past year. but I didn't know what to do to change. I have always been paralyse by my mind. Analysis Paralysis. I plan and plan and think and rethink, and I never do anything! Then things started to break: the refrigerator, my glasses, my car, my practice, my love, my work, my body, my spirit... It took me a day to buy a new refrigerator. It took me 3 days to get new glasses. It took me a weekend to decide to sell the car. Selling the car was the best thing to do to break with this vicious cycle I was in of things being wrong, me trying to fix them intead of changing them. Since I didn't have a car anymore, I had to find a way to go to work. I woke up early. Got early to work and I started working on my thesis again to kill time. A thing that has taken me 3 years to finish, is almost done. The first time I feel I am so close to finish. I bought I new car and that forced me to give up meaningless expenses like starbucks. And some how, that same day I went to get my new car, I got a call. I was being recomended for a job opportunity I was waiting for. Still in the same industry I love, at the regional office of the distributor I wanted and working with the person I wanted to work for. Some things I've learned in the last 2 months: Stop overthinking. You think. It makes sense at first hand. Don't think more. Do it. Get up, and just do it! Make that decision. Get out of your house. Write. Do. Move. Sing. Dance. Just don't stay put overthinking what you already wanted to do. You could tell yourself out of everything if you let your mind think more than you should. If it doesn't make sense, if it doesn't help, cut it out of your life. Don't marry into an idea or way of being. Just because it took you a week to write that paragraph or because you have always been that way It doesn't mean you have to stick to it forever! The past is in the past. Stupid phrase that didn't make sense before until I realized that whatever happens to the car is no longer my business. Funny thing about the mind is that everything about your reality is control there. So If you decide to control how you see things, there's no guilt, no fear, no doubt. It is as easy as erasing a paragraph or detaching yourself from material possessions.